[bridanp]

As others have mentioned, it truly would benefit you to discuss this with a therapist. Even though you are using a throwaway account, I can tell that you're still holding back a bit. You need to openly express how you feel with another human being in an environment where you feel safe to be your self and to just let go.

From a personal perspective, you are not alone. While some have pointed out "that's why they call it work", there are others of us that have felt that crushing weight and know something isn't quite right in a future full of that experience. It's normal to feel that way from time to time. It's abnormal to feel that way day in and day out. And it doesn't necessarily have to be a mental issue. It could just be that you are only 20 and you might be finding out really early that this career path isn't for you. Regardless, please do take some time to seek out a professional and openly discuss it.