There is no market for this, which is why you can't find it. The vast majority of people who want a phone/text device but don't want browsers, emails, MySpace, or app stores simply ignore those features.
Or they try to not use those features but get sucked back into it, like I did the many times I tried exactly that. I wonder how many people there are who wanted to live a life like this but because such a phone doesn't exist, they keep getting pulled back in and have to abandon having a phone altogether.