[codeape]

So if I understand the article, one should use the communication pattern:

When ____[observation], I feel ____[emotion] because I’m needing some ____[universal needs]. Would you be able to ____[request]?

For instance:

When [you're acting like a dickhead], I feel [the urge to punch you] because I'm needing some [fking professionalism]. Would you be able to [stop acting like a dickhead]?

[mercutio2]

There are several sentences in the piece dedicated to explaining that treating the [emotion] section as a synonym for [attack that happens to be prefixed with the word feel] is a corruption of the practice.

There’s also a section explaining the difference between requests and demands.

But your formulation does tend to highlight why people get incensed at amateurish imitations of NVC.

[gowld]

Reading your post, I feel that you don't understand the article. I come to HN for substantive commentary that engages and expands upon the source material. Would you be able to read it again with a fresh perspective, and share your criticism in a less sarcastic and more informative way?

[quickthrower2]

"you're acting like a dickhead" is not an observation, it is a characterisation.

"the urge to punch you" could be phrased as "angry" perhaps?

"fking professionalism" isn't what you need, it is a trait you want the other person to show. What is it that you need?