[w4tson]

Therapy didn’t seem to work. Have you tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

If you have an Audible subscription there is “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: techniques for retraining your brain”

You can do it on your own but I think you’d benefit from an actual therapist as it sounds like you have some deep seated problems. (I know you said it didn’t work the first time)

There’s a great line at the beginning of the book where the author compares people to appliances. Appliances have instruction manuals, what to do when stuff goes wrong. Wouldn’t it be great if the same were true for us humans? There is no instruction manual. But the techniques in the book are a toolkit for different situations you may find yourself in. They’re meant to stay with you.

To me it sounds like you currently have an error code. You’re aware, and making some steps to address it but you don’t seem to have got any traction

I wish you all the best