[Broken_Hippo]

I think you are mixing up loneliness and shyness. Loneliness can cause shyness and the other way around, but they are not the same thing.

Loneliness can be forced on you. I personally moved and since some girls at the new school decided (in the locker room) that I was lesbian, folks stopped talking to me. I found a very small group of friends the next year at high school.

These girls were half correct in their assessment, but that was no reason for the entirety of a school to decide I wasn't worth talking to.

Seriously, loneliness is awful. I should mention that I had no issues asking folks out later in life (when I became interested in such things).

This sort of thing might have been more common pre-internet times. The internet made me less lonely because I found folks I liked to talk to.

[B0btheBuilder]

There's a great episode of the "Hidden Brain" podcast about scarcity: https://www.npr.org/2017/03/20/520587241/the-scarcity-trap-w...

One claim made was that poverty and loneliness are two of the most difficult scarcity traps to be in. Even more so than hunger (especially in the developed world). Because poverty and loneliness push you into behaviors that only perpetuate more poverty and loneliness. You can see this with the rise of toxic misogynistic groups on the Internet, and I personally see this with my more awkward, lonely friends and acquaintances who put off new company with desperate, weird, or standoffish behavior.

[brightball]

Loneliness sucks...but at the same time at the point where you decide you’ve had enough of it and you realize you have the power to do something about it, it becomes a tremendous motivator.

Loneliness is curable, but requires effort.

[Broken_Hippo]

Because I had so many choices at 13. Because poor folks can simply move where they'll be more accepted. ? Because everyone should be willing to act like someone they aren't so they have people (that doesn't cure loneliness). Because loneliness cause by depression is always curable?

I'm happy you solved yours. I'm happy I solved mine. But I know not everyone can have the stroke of luck to change things like I have. Lots of folks have little choice, in part because of financial woes, mental illness, age, and so on.

NOt everyone is like you. Loneliness has never been a great motivator for me, and though I don't suffer from it like I did 10 years ago, the entire thing has left me with a negative view of people and their willingness to accept folks that are different - especially when they "should know better".

That last bit has been key to my own "cure", as I'm an immigrant and folks don't assume the same things.