[blastbeat]

I haven't been in the situation you describe, but in my experience there are times in life were you simply cannot find internal peace easily. Changes needs to be initiated first. But it's difficult to reason about what in your situation is(are) the exact problem(s) without more in-depth background information. That said, I doubt that vitamin D or some kind of spirituality will fix it. I would suggest meeting a therapist who offers cognitive behavioral therapy, to discuss your issues and fundamental life questions.