[SimonPStevens]

Here's what I use instead of Facebook:

Google calendar for events - Anyone with any email address can be invited to an event. Google calendar also emails out standard format .ics files with it's invites so participants are free to use whatever calendar app they choose and just import the ics files. (This also hooks up nicely with my android calendar). I'm looking forward to when everyone on Facebook gets an @facebook email address and then I'm going to start sending them all Google calendar invites ;-) Seriously, I think Google calendar is a seriously under recognised service.

Twitter for a news feed equivalent - You don't need an account to read so it is open enough. (There is also status.net or identi.ca if you want even more openness). I embed a feed of the most recent posts in my webpage. If you want to subscribe, you can use RSS so you don't have to use twitter to follow me.

Photos - I use a combination of FlickR and my own custom image gallery on my website. On FlickR you can set the photos to be public so viewers don't need to have an account.

Messages - Obviously I just use email.

When I meet people I want to connect with, I ask for their email address rather than ask if they are on Facebook. I occasionally use Facebook to find people and then ask for their email address via Fb message.

I can't think of anything else I really miss out on from Fb.

[mseebach]

> I can't think of anything else I really miss out on from Fb.

I can't tell if you've left Facebook and feel these solutions replace it, or if you've just read the list of features, and decided you're covered. What you're missing: The aggregated, passive flow of opportunities to stay in touch.

I occasionally have short conversations with people I haven't seen for a decade, prompted by something either I or they posted. It's nothing deep and profound, but it feels good to stay in touch.

If I just put pictures and news on my blog or flickr, I would be relying on hundreds of acquaintances from the past 15 year to regularly visit these places - and why would they do that?

[SimonPStevens]

> I can't tell if you've left Facebook and feel these solutions replace it, or if you've just read the list of features, and decided you're covered.

I've got an Fb account, and I do use it lightly. I tend to have random conversations with people because of posts they make on twitter, or on their blogs.

I do watch my Fb news feed on my phone, so if I spot something worth starting up a conversation about I have the opportunity to.

My discomfort with Fb is that to even view content requires an account. Content is only shared amongst account holders. If I post some photos, or an event I don't want to require people to sign up to Fb to view that content. Hence I post my content on more open services. My concern is more for the other people who don't use Fb than it is for myself or those who already use Fb.

If I post content on a blog, I sometimes post a link on Fb. I don't see any problem with that. Some people choose to follow me via Fb, and that is fine, but I also want to remain open to those people who don't like Fb and I give them the option to follow me in other ways.

[mseebach]

That's fine (and not terribly different from how I use Facebook and other stuff, actually). But then your question becomes "What do I really miss out on for not using Facebook exclusively?" to which the answer is "Absolutely nothing. kthxbye."

[nhangen]

But who really needs "aggregated, passive flow of opportunities to stay in touch?"

These are proxy relationships. Friends are welcome to call me, but I don't want to be involved in their lives 24/7, nor do I want the opportunity.

[mseebach]

Well, if "do we really need this" was a viable yardstick for the value of innovation, nothing significant would have been invented in the past 100 years.

And telling me that the relationships I have on Facebook are worth less that not having them at all because they are on Facebook rather than on the phone(x) is incredibly arrogant and, well, none of your business.

(x) Never mind that they would have significant trouble reaching me using any of the 1998 contact information they have on me. Except for my name, which happens to be fairly unique, none of it is valid today, nor was it already by 2000.

[nhangen]

I never said it was. However, you're implying that other solutions missing this means that they are not valuable or effective, which is just as wrong. It's purely subjective.

I'm not talking about your relationships either...I could care less. That's my point. Facebook is what it is, but just because it's popular does not mean it's necessary.

[meric]

The only `necessary` things are family, shelter, clothes, food, water and transportation. Yahoo and Bing are fine replacements for google even if the latter is more popular. What is your point?

[MortenK]

His point is in line 1: "However, you're implying that other solutions missing this means that they are not valuable or effective, which is just as wrong. It's purely subjective."

[treblig]

Let me know when your friend invites you to a party on Facebook and you get it via Google Calendar. I'll be the guy by the bar while you're at home. Your friends couldn't care less what an .ics is.

My mom doesn't care about "openness". She cares what I put on my Facebook wall.

Photo alternative: cute. I'll never go to your Flickr page. I've seen ~100 pictures today of Thanksgiving celebrations, because they were in my News Feed.

Messages: Most of my FB messagers are spam, but what do you think is the easiest way to message a 14-year-old?

[gloob]

Maybe my social circle is just old fashioned, but my friends and family actually care whether I come to their events. That means that they have means other than Facebook to contact me with, since I'm not on the site. Maybe your mom would just stop communicating with you if you weren't on Facebook, though; I don't pretend to know what your situation is like.

[shykes]

You're not missing out on the quality of the tools. You're missing out on connectivity. Some people can't be accessed without Facebook. The quantity of those people is growing.

[muuh-gnu]

> Some people can't be accessed without Facebook.

That means that the people who cant be accessed without facebook had to voluntarily cut themselves off from email-only people first. And while doing that, they had no concerns that they will be missing connectivity, because from their POV the email-only people obviously had such a low social rank anyway, that they simply could afford to sorta blackmail them ("either you get a facebook account or I'll simply cut you off.") without any fear they could be losing anything of (social) worth.

Getting a facebook (or MySpace/ICQ/MSN/AIM/YIM/whatever 1-vendor-only proprietary network) account just because someone forces you to do it is a way to confess to yourself that you must have be pretty low in the pecking order in your desired social circle and that involuntarily creating accounts with service-de-jour wont be the last thing you'll be forced to do to avoid being cut off. Or, alternatively, just get real friends.

[DrJokepu]

Everyone has an e-mail address (it's a requirement to be able to create a Facebook account) and pretty much everyone is on one of the IM networks.

[arethuza]

My teenage son regards email and IM as something old people use. Of course, this was until Facebook added email features and suddenly it's OK to be seen using it.

[zipdog]

FYI: Its possible to get a FB account without a "real" email address. ie Use a one-time address like 10 minute mail. I've had an account for about 2 years with this method, never been a problem

[SimonPStevens]

> pretty much everyone is on one of the IM networks.

I know a lot of people who have ditched their previous IM accounts in favour of the Fb IM platform.

[igrekel]

Tim doesn't look at just the present state but at the trend. Other posters have noted that many people abandon or don't see the use for IM or email when they use Facebook to communicate.

If people stop following their email or logging in to their IM because they communicate using Facebook, it could change quickly.

[SimonPStevens]

I do have a Facebook account. I just choose to ensure that my content is published publicly so others who don't have an account can still access it.

[vl]

Google calendar for events - there is a lock-in and user training problem though. Some people I invited to a party couple years ago couldn't figure out how to accept my Google calendar invite (by clicking link in the email), same people not only manage to accept FB invites, but even capable of creating event of their own. I use FB for invites since this accident.