[isostatic]

You have x hours to spend. You can either spend them with yout children or spend them with dementia laden old parents who don’t know who you are

What’s better for you? For your children? For your parents?

A granny flat may be acceptable, but having the in-laws under your roof? It was awful when I was a kid, and we had mother-in-law round for a week or so after she came out of hospital for a knee replacement. We all found it intolerable.

I don’t want to be a burden on my kids, and my parents dont want to be a burden on me.

Unlike in India though, I wouldn’t sue them.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-47154287

[waivek]

I think the key difference is that the visit from your mother-in-law was a novel or unique experience which you might not have the emotional tools to handle. It isn't exactly fair to compare that inexperience with what is a way of life in India.

The visit may have been uncomfortable for you because of the absence of societal and cultural rules to help streamline these situations.