[cma]

> Bottom line: if you’re being described as an abusive boss, you’re bad at your job.

There is such a thing as highly over-sensitive people. There are people who suffer from things like high paranoia, and their paranoia will often be directed at any authority figures in their life. I think you should have left things at "probably".

[simple_phrases]

And there are abusive people who skirt by in their organizations by saying that their victims are just too sensitive.

[sonnyblarney]

This is likely true, but it does not negate the notion that some people are very sensitive.

For example, you've ever played on a competitive sports team, or were in the military, you may be desensitized to some things that some may consider aggressive.

Cultural issues are important as well: some cultures argue, others do not. Some cultures vocalize objections, some do not. Some are direct, some indirect.

Germans and Dutch are really direct - their candor may be perceived as harsh by some. That said, they're also very emotionally calm.

I grew up 1/2 Irish/Scottish in a big family, my god man did we argue (and still do). But it's just arguing, it doesn't mean much. I'd call it 'emotive verbalization' and there's no name calling or anything.

Often someone can be loud and direct, and it seems terse, but if you actually listen, they might not be condescending, name calling or anything. It just feels that way.

Some people are also simply not used to actually being held accountable. A boss who suddenly draws some hard lines ... this may make some feel uncomfortable.

Some people confuse negative articulation of work as an insult i.e. "this is sht" might be interpreted as "you are sht" when it's not.

None of this remotely excuses actual bullying - I'm just saying there's a lot of grey and context.

So if someone is constantly threatening, name calling, publicly admonishing, being unfair, demeaning, inconsistent, derogatory, digging into personal issues - this is bullying.

But being demanding, loud, assertive, and sometimes being angry (so long as it's not directed at anyone) - this may or may not be bullying.

More poignantly - the article does woefully lack information about specific kinds of bullying behaviour, that's in fact the very first thing on my mind as I read it. This is really subjective stuff, it needs to be spelled out.

[ams6110]

Bullying isn't that difficult. It has a definition. It's not momentary anger or a general outburst or even a persistent bad temper. Bullying is a persistent pattern of behavior directed at a specific person for the purpose of intimidation or coercion or establishing power over the person.

A supervisor can be generally unpleasant, impatient, lacking empathy, and demanding and not be a bully.

[sonnyblarney]

I agree (great definition BTW) but in my experience, in the real world, I suggest the term gets broadly and crudely applied.

[throwaway65327]

A good boss would realize this and tailor their communication style appropriately.

[sverige]

I think the word "bullying" is too amorphous to be useful. It would be more helpful to break down specific behaviors that describe the interactions between bosses and employees using those words. Accessible? Transparent? Consistent? Those a just a few that spring to mind.

[AlexTWithBeard]

I had a colleague who managed to get insulted every time I said something about him.

Then in one meeting I decided to play safe and said nothing. He complained to the big boss about being disrespectfully ignored.

Good days were these!