[ozzmotik]

man I've been needing this for a while. this is basically what happens to me any time I take a job in the corporate sector and have to heavily constrain myself. it usually ends with me spiraling down into addiction self medicating with whatever helps me manage to function even just 1% better (subjectively speaking of course, i probably just get worse!)

nowadays im trying to just stick to cannabis and nootropics (namely memantine as nmda antagonism also tends to help me function and maintain the neurotypical façadre) though as they tend to get the job done without putting my body and mind in danger. I have a job interview with wpengine coming up so im hoping that maybe this time I can do it right because I don't really have any other options. im essentially going to lose my place to live at the end of the year so I really need to make sure I figure out a healthy way to maintain if I get the job.

im open to advice if anyone has any suggestions, as ive tried to do this alone my entire adult life, and i just can't seem to figure it out. you give me a formal discipline, something I can quantify and study every aspect of and ill have no problems figuring it out, but when it comes to figuring out how to irl properly i am but an inchoate

[captainredbeard]

"im essentially going to lose my place to live at the end of the year so I really need to make sure I figure out a healthy way to maintain if I get the job"

Start with finding a healthy way to maintain even if you don't get the job. That will put you in a place where you'll be able to find and retain one.

[ozzmotik]

you know, i think that's what I meant to type because that makes a lot more sense to me now that i think about it. evidently sitting in a hot bath makes me lazier about my typing. who would have guessed