[rahimnathwani]

You are, of course, correct.

But people often choose whether or not to take something personally, and their reaction determines the outcome. Consider the following situations:

A. (Bad case) You criticise my idea/proposal, and I interpret that as you criticising/shaming/blaming me (i.e. I take it personally). I then decide to ignore your criticism, because I feel it is based on your personal opinion of me, which I know is incorrect.

B. (Better case) You criticise me personally (e.g. "you're a bad PM, as evidenced by X"), and I take it dispassionately, trying to understand why you feel that way, use that to inform my understanding of the situation, and find a way to make things better.

In A, my idea was criticised, and there was no positive outcome.

In B, I was personally shamed, but there was a positive outcome.

I cannot change how people communicate (at least in the short term) but I can change how I react, and hence what impact I have on the outcome.

[rammy1234]

people reacting to situations is about individual. but we know every individual is unique and different. Team should be encompassing and not assuming. CEO or Project Director's boundary is only with the idea and not the individual.

Idea can be criticised, never individual. Your argument may sound right, but it is not considering everyone. Your argument is saying how one should react, but is not answering what if one reacts differently. How can we mend it.

Leader is one who is compassionate and has ability to differentiate idea from individual. Work is not entirety. Idea will never define a person. whenever we critique, it is best to keep it till the idea and never to person. my few cents.

[rahimnathwani]

As I said before, you are correct :)

And I always aim to criticise the work/behaviour and not the person.

However:

- When I criticise a piece of work, someone can still choose to interpret it as shaming or a personal attack.

- When someone criticises me personally, I can still choose to focus on the useful part. I don't have to feel offended/upset.

[rammy1234]

When I criticise a piece of work, someone can still choose to interpret it as shaming or a personal attack. -- yes agree. this is not the mistake of the person commenting.

When someone criticises me personally, I can still choose to focus on the useful part. I don't have to feel offended/upset.

- This as mentioned before, this we cannot make a rule but a guidance but this is very personal to the individual and most inidividual even if he is not offended, will not work under him for a long time to come. which is not good either way.