Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by overcast 2694 days ago
The only meaningful connections I've ever made, were made randomly sitting at a bar, dinners, and anywhere else you're forced into sitting next to strangers in a casual(not work related) environment. Seriously, if you want to meet people, eat at the bar.
3 comments

I think the fact that you are at a bar, and not hunting is what makes people more open. When you are networking in an event (where everyone is), you have your guards up.

You basically think everyone is a shark trying to get to you.

When you are relaxed at a bar (alcohol helps), you think people are chilling out; and you tend to believe what the other guy is saying.

Here is another one: Airplanes. I have made some very good friends just by sitting next to someone. (and some very interesting stories).

Another one which is a win-win: High caliber girls which introduces you to their circles. Usually it's a set of another "good" girls that have boyfriends who are rather established.

Another one is being married and meeting other married people through kids activity. I'm speculating here I have never been through that.

The other big piece, is think of how you can help the person you're talking to. Don't think about how you can help yourself. People who naturally try to help others, end up getting help in spades when they need it.
> 'Another one which is a win-win: High caliber girls which introduces you to their circles. Usually it's a set of another "good" girls that have boyfriends who are rather established.'

you're missing a lot of interpersonal value if that's your conclusion. on the converse, it wouldn't be surprising if those circles quietly distanced themselves from such self-centeredness.

On being married: Your speculation is right on the money. Having a wife/husband increases your network size especially if you're a sit at home homebody type (lolz). Their friends become either your connections or at the very least give you much more data points. Women tend tend to share important information more freely with each other, thus you can hear about a lot of interesting stuff going on at other lives and companies, etc.
I don't think business networking is about meaningful connections, not in the sense of connecting on a personal level. Having said that, I never excelled at business networking myself for not being able to connect at a deeper level
Meaningful, as in something beyond I'm only trying to extract money from you, not connecting at a level that makes for great sex. There is a middle ground there where two people can be genuine in being mutually beneficial to one another.
And, for that matter, there are quite a few people who I originally met professionally who I stay in touch with for reasons beyond mutual benefit.
been eating at bars for 5 years. havent met nobody.
Open your mouth for other things besides taking in food. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sounds off. I love bar food, and not so much the alcohol, I've had to stop, or, more accurately slow down for health reasons ( bar food tends to be bad for you ), but I met lots of people. My data point, people go to bars to be social. It helps to sit at the bar and not at a table.
Depends on if your area has a strong pub culture. Not the case everywhere.