[zzleeper]

TLDR: Check this instead: http://www.wolfram.com/mathematica/new-in-8/

The signal-to-noise ratio of that article is incredible low. What did I get out of the post?

- You can now type wolframalpha-style in mathematica.

- You now have over 3000 built-in functions (i.e., too many to remember ;)

The rest was just Wolfram telling the world in many different ways how great mathematica was/is/will be. Adjectives include: huge, important, dramatic, breakthrough, major, slow & lumbering (to describe others), etc. Hell, "great" is mentioned 6 times in the post!

[tumult]

Static compilation via C, C metapogramming/manipulation using Mathematica's symbolic engine, dynamic library linking, GPU use via OpenCL, lots of new statistics and probability processing/visualization...