[gumby]

You've got it!

My kid was uncertain and stressed by the pressure to make a decision; once he decided "I won't" his stress went away and his grades shot up. Instead of going to college at 18 he got a job. A year after graduating he knew what he wanted and got into a good school in a program he wanted.

What shocked me is how much disapproval he received from his classmates and the school (especially the "guidance" counselor). "Loser", "what's wrong with you?", "are you too stupid to get into college" (asked one of his fellow AP Calc classmates).

Apparently the approved path is to get into a school and ask to defer for a year. Deciding you're not ready seems to threaten everybody's assumptions.