[throwaway190102]

>people can't afford to have kids anymore.

I don't think this is the issue. It's much more a cultural thing, statistically richer countries have lower birthrates. But getting married and having kids is no longer accepted as "just what you do". Less people are getting married, that also may play a role.

I'd also imagine it's different in different areas. Might even map to incomes, or political leanings of different zip codes.

[usaar333]

It isn't people can't afford kids; it's

a. The opportunity cost of having children is higher in rich countries. (E.g. If you are richer, you can say travel more.. but can't easily if you have kids! Also the income hit from having children is also much higher in rich countries)

b. Rich countries generally have higher social expectations for parental involvement. Kids cost more in rich countries because parents actually do more.

[luckydata]

For us it completely around income and time. Live in the bay area, have a long commute, can't afford to have a second kid even if I really want to. I'm very well paid.

[souprock]

If you did really want a second kid, you would have moved. You would have a trivial commute, fuel would be half the cost, and housing would be a tenth the cost.

Clearly, there is something more important to you.

[luckydata]

That's the stupidest comment I've ever read. It doesn't really deserve a thoughtful answer and I find it pretty insulting to get lectured about life choices by someone that simply doesn't understand the situation.

[souprock]

I was tempted to lecture you about life choices, but I didn't. I said nothing about the morality, ethics, or wisdom of the choices you have made.

I simply said it is clear that you have determined that other things in your life are of greater priority for you.

I'm not sure what you mean by "stupidest". It isn't wrong. For me it is a trivially obvious observation, and thus kind of lame, but I'm a disinterested observer. Making the correct observation would be more difficult if I were deeply invested in the situation.

FYI, my 11 kids are supported on a single income, and I'm just an experienced software hacker. I don't even manage people or work overtime. Granted, I don't get to live anywhere near my childhood home of the Bay Area, but such is life. Just as you have done, I made choices according to my priorities, but my priorities are different.

[lallysingh]

Also there's lots more to do at home than screw around with the spouse now.

[war1025]

I think a big part of it is that we spend so much time beating it into adolescents that they shouldn't have kids that it becomes a very large psychological hump to get over to become okay with the idea of having kids.

When you spend ten years telling people all the ways kids will ruin their lives, it doesn't really seem surprising that they'd be hesitant to have kids...