[tomasdore]

I don't really get this. Until I re-read this, I thought the point was that you need more time than your wife will let you get. But you can outsource these chores simply by hiring help. That will provide jobs to others and it's clear in your comments that you can afford it, particularly if you earn more from work done in the time you save.

Regarding selfishness, it's good to do chores, sure. Dutiful. But the kids you care for are not much mentioned. You may matter more to them together-as-a-couple than you have predicted. So perhaps you are not selfish but detached - from their emotions, and from yours. Just a guess, I don't know you, but are you perhaps too much Apollo and too little Dionysus? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollonian_and_Dionysian

Because that might also be also leading to a passion-free partnership. Plus, if the problem is too much Apollo, your solution is going to add more of that, and worsen the problem.

[throwawayIn2019]

Thank you for commenting. I'm pretty attached to the kids, I think. They tend to flock to me. The oldest (still under 18 months) will only let me put her to bed. But interestingly enough will only let my wife feed her.

Thank you for the Wiki link. I will read it.

[tabhygfr2]

I... wow. That you think it's OK to leave a perfectly salvageable marriage (My wife and I get along great. I love her. We have fun together.) when you have (or are primary guardian of) children this attached to you is... Ask yourself, are you a man? Will you accept the responsibilities that have been placed upon you?

(I'm not completely unsympathetic, but I think you need to think harder about the full consequences of your actions on those around you.)