[qwertycrackers]

Your situation is extremely similar to the one my dad faced many years ago. Stay together. Even though my parents handled the divorce quite well, and co-parented effectively throughout it, his decision eventually cost him the goodwill of me, my brother, and our entire family.

If you do this, at least one person you love will grow to hate you.

[throwawayIn2019]

Thank you for sharing. I do imagine that no matter how OK my wife is, her family will be blowing up my phone for sure. Also, I think my mom will have something to say about it. My dad will offer to take me to a strip club. You can't pick your family.

[tabhygfr2]

You didn't mention the most important people in GP's comment: the children. "we do care full-time for 2 kids" is pretty vague, but it sounds like they probably see you as their parents, at least emotionally.

What effect would this have on them? How would the events unfold in their eyes? Family.... family..... family.... and then: BOOM WTF JUST HAPPENED?