| It may be going against the grain here, but you should get a divorce. You have talked to her and she says she is "okay" with a divorce so she too can do her own things, thus there is nothing really keeping you two together except inertia. Stay friends, live separately, and wait out the year before finalizing your divorce. I was in your same situation 2 years ago; I had reached a plateau and wanted to lock myself away like I used and simply work on my ideas. I contemplated that I would never be able to do such a thing whilst married. In the end I decided I wanted to be married, and the only reason I was flirting with the idea of separation was the irrational belief that I couldn't do X whilst married. You certainly can lock yourself away whilst married. Will it hurt your relationship? Yes, yes it will, but it won't damage it irreparably any more than going on a long overseas business trip or being deployed with the military for months. It puts a strain on everything, but its survivable so long as---you both want to be married to each other and can't stand the thought of divorce yet. If you want a divorce, and she wants a divorce, then regardless of the reasons there is nothing to work on---just let the relationship dissolve as it is unwanted. Just be aware, that you won't just be losing your wife here---you'll be losing your best friend and you have to ask if you have enough friends to lose that one. |