[AnimalMuppet]

Well, on one level, you're not. If you're doing house work, cooking, and cleaning up, you're doing better than many of us.

And yet, the way you speak about your marriage (and your reasons for wanting a divorce) still strike me as fundamentally selfish. Perhaps emotionally selfish, or perhaps that you're thinking about your marriage from a fundamentally selfish perspective. I'm having a bit of trouble putting into words why I think that, though, and how I think you should be different. So, maybe not much help...

[throwawayIn2019]

I don't view it as selfish. Maybe I need to think that way for a change.

I view it as growth. Ensuring if I need to find a job I can. Putting out the next game that keeps food on the table (so to speak, we aren't in any danger of that). Plus, she goes out with friends and shopping. It's sort of her outlet. Mine happens to be the coding for making a living and ironically an outlet.

If you think of more words, write them, as you said you are having trouble with exact words.

[AnimalMuppet]

This is late enough that I'm not sure you'll see it, but...

I would define love as "choosing to do what's best for the other person". I can't reconcile that with your reasons for wanting a divorce. Your focus is on you, not her. That mindset is what seems selfish to me.