|
I've been married (or the common law equivalent) three times, each about ten years. (edit: no biokids either) I can definitely relate, and you have my sympathies. That said, what you've said doesn't sound like a very bad situation to me (perhaps because mine seemed quite a bit worse). Regarding "friends", you don't say it, but are you having regular, reasonably enjoyable sex? If not, and it's due to her refusals, I'd leave. If so, she's a friend, or perhaps an adult child, not a wife. One can imagine medical exceptions, etc., but if she's not at least giving mercy handjobs, it's over. Regarding "goals still in life", everyone differs, but I think later in life, those goals won't seem very important, compared to family. I had such goals, and even some minor successes you might have heard of. But ultimately there's no there there. Everything technical that you work on will be dust very soon. Read Ecclesiastes and absorb the lesson. (The common versions are hard to read, but there's a modern paraphrase that's very readable: Nothing New Under the Sun: A Blunt Paraphrase of Ecclesiastes by Adam S. Miller.) Beware that there's almost no limit to how bad a divorce can turn out. Two of mine were very unpleasant. The third almost killed me, and arguably ruined my life. Your wife might turn vicious in a divorce--it happens. I work a full time tech job, and after alimony and taxes, I'm left with about US$4000 per year to live on. I supplement this by drawing from retirement accounts, with the 10% penalty. I'm not rich, so this stings. Other parts of the divorce, harder to describe here, are far worse. Regarding interruptions, can you just go to a library or something and work there for a few hours at a stretch? Finally, someone mentioned "earning" a divorce. I don't think this frame is productive. If your marriage is not working for you, and there's no reasonable chance that will change, you have the right to leave. Good luck. |