[handsomechad]

Ever since practicing mindfulness and become more aware of my emotional state, drinking alcohol has become a nonstarter for me. It took a while for me to truly connect the dots, but, following a night of imbibing, I crash really hard on not just a physiological level but an emotional, psychological level as well. In fact I find it hard to separate the two reactions. To me they are basically the same thing, overall increased levels of "pain" or "anxiety" or "neurosis" manifesting in my inner being, my soul if you will.

I know that sounds a bit woo woo but it's sort of an ineffable and inarticulable idea. I'm 100% sure I feel it though, every time I drink I sleep poorly, I'm much more irritable once the alcohol wears off the next afternoon, and by the time the evening comes around, assuming I don't re-dose, I'm much more prone to ruminate on negative thoughts or seek mindless stimulation to distract my mind from the general malaise.

I think alcohol really is a mainstream and socially acceptable means of anxiety self-medication. It's a deeply engrained cultural habit that has been around for millenia, and I don't expect or advocate for it to stop, but for me it has palpable deleterious effects on my whole being.