You're not missing anything. The coins are literally worthless other than to those who trade them on crypto exchanges, to steal each other's lunch money. Plus, launching an attack isn't just a case of paying $30 per hour. You need to have a client able to perform whatever your aim is for the attack, which requires a level of coding knowledge. And dev's at that level of knowledge are probably earning real money for their time.
It's listed on several exchanges [0], so assuming you can carry out the attack, you could pretty easily profit. Not a ton of volume, but you could make some money.
51% attacks are quite possibly wire fraud so I would refrain from bragging about them. More accurately, trying to double spend the coins is wire fraud.
Not if you have the consent of the counter-parties (or are the counter-parties.) It might be against some other law to manipulate the price like that, though.