[danielcarver]

We can solve the peer validation issue by ceasing to create it in the first place.

In the model of human development I and my peers were taught in public school in America, humans start out life as “parent-oriented” people. Then when we go to school we become “peer-oriented.” I was taught that the transition from “parent orientation” to “peer orientation” is natural, inevitable, and healthy — but it’s none of those things. In fact, transitioning to a peer orientation has ill effects on many people, including this dude Daniel.

Being peer-oriented rather than parent-oriented is obviously unhealthy: just look at Daniel’s plight for proof of this obvious fact. But we teach that peer orientation is THE ONE AND ONLY healthy path to adulthood. We need to change what we teach. Daniel clearly yearned to connect with surrogate parent figures like this dude Joel, but the system was set up to keep him oriented towards his peers rather than parents or surrogate parent figures.

No wonder Daniel suffered the consequences of peer-orientation when the entire school system is set up to make him oriented towards his peers.

Daniel is a casualty of the system. His “faults” were created and managed by the system itself. Daniel is the victim here and blaming the victim is not a good look.

[esotericn]

This is a great post.

I feel much the same about life in state school in the UK.

You're chucked into a cage, essentially, with a bunch of unformed humans, when what is really needed is a solid set of role models. Teachers can't provide that wholly, because not everyone wants to be a teacher.

[sjg007]

Aptly captured in Lord of the Flies.

[Joel64]

I appreciate the words, and agree with them.