[reaperducer]

It was simply the way a married French woman would be addressed at the time

Not just in France, and not just in centuries past. I've met women in the United States, England, and Austria who refer to themselves as Mrs. husbands_first_name husbands_last_name.

It's formal. It's not insulting. You can see it commonly in 19th- and early 20th-century literature.

Several of the Christmas cards my wife received this year were addressed that way, plus "and family."

[viraptor]

> It's formal. It's not insulting.

It can be both. Many do consider it insulting.

[reaperducer]

It can be both. Many do consider it insulting.

Personally insulting, or are these people who feel insulted for other people?

The reason I ask is that the women I know who use this convention are not shrinking violets. This is not being imposed upon them by some male-dominated relationship. They are all strong-willed individuals. One is a C-level at a global company.

[viraptor]

I know more than one person who would take it very, very personally.

[reaperducer]

I’m not sure I understand. What kind of a person is offended by how someone else chooses to write their name?

[ASpring]

That's the whole point. Their name is /not/ "Mrs. [husband's first and last name]"

There are definitely people I know that would be okay with being addressed this way. There are many I also know who have expressed that this makes them feel less like an individual human and more like an accessory to their husband.

[viraptor]

It's not about how. I don't think anyone would mind an honest spelling mistake for example. The issue is what you're saying about them. If you call them by their partner's name it may mean you either don't care about them more than "they belong to Mr X" or that person's life is defined by the existence of their partner. Those kind of views are decades old and some people will actively fight them.

[c3534l]

In American movies, I'll sometimes you'll hear "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" when introducing a couple at an extremely formal event where everyone wears tuxedos and such. I've never been to such an event before, so I don't know how accurate that is. But it's definitely something odd I've noticed in movies.

[aaronharnly]

My first wife was an M.D. (and did not change her last name), and we occasionally received wedding invitations addressed to “Mr. and Dr. Aaron Harnly”, which I found hilarious. The endurance of the patriarchy and its subversion, all in one line.

[Andre607]

> It's not insulting.

It is unfortunate that you do not consider such blatant, ham-fisted patriarchy as insulting.