[DoreenMichele]

My dad grew up in The Great Depression, so waste was strongly eschewed. Like you, I do my best to put as much on my plate as I think I will actually eat.

But I was never told to clean my plate. I don't practice that philosophy.

I have a serious medical condition. The mental freedom to just say no to some of the food on my plate has played a critical role in my ability to manage my condition with diet and lifestyle.

I'm fine with finding ways to discourage waste. But I'm very much against the "clean your plate" policy.

[saagarjha]

I mean, I was never 100% on cleaning my plate; exceptions were sometimes made if I was sick or there was some other reason that eating everything was a bad idea. The goal was to minimize waste, even if the food was slightly unpleasant; but it’s not like this was militantly enforced. Really, just do whatever is best for you to reduce waste and stay healthy.

[DoreenMichele]

I was (and still am) a picky eater. I was diagnosed late in life with a genetic disorder, which is the reason I'm a picky eater. I was often criticized for being so picky, but I was never told to clean my plate.

It wasn't uncommon for my father to eat what was left on my plate rather than throw it out, but my right to decide what to put in my body was always respected.

I think that -- respecting a person's right to control what goes in their body -- is an excellent policy. I'm not trying to talk trash about your parents. I'm just saying it's possible to be anti-waste without this rule. There are other ways to do that and I think they are better.

[sturgill]

> I think that -- respecting a person's right to control what goes in their body -- is an excellent policy.

This sounds great but breaks down at implementation. My 5 y/o is not yet equipped with the mental discipline to have this autonomy. We force him to try everything we put on his plate. New foods are introduced in small quantities to prevent wastage, but we fully expect him to try all the weird things he is quite sure he hates. If we gave him autonomy, he’d choose candy and soda.

My view on parenting in general is that the whole point is to teach kids to be independent (and to live their own lives in their own houses). But autonomy is granted as a child learns and is capable of understanding the tradeoffs of decisons. And that is the hard part. It’s very simple to take either extreme: “here’s your dinner, eat it!”; “it’s your dinner, eat what you will.” But I think it’s my job as a parent to teach my kid to appreciate food; to eat a balanced meal; to fill up on veggies and supplement with meat and bread; to drink water over soda; that you can’t skip the salad and expect snacks later; that if you choose to not eat that means you’ll be hungry later (where I typically bring back what we had as dinner as the food option); etc.

Really, I think this whole parenting thing is a crapshoot. But I find comfort knowing I’m helping support some future therapist who can help my kids overcome all of my mistakes. It’s my contribution to America’s future GDP...

[_justpassingby_]

> We force him to try everything we put on his plate.

As long as a child is receiving adequate nutrition, is it necessary to force him to expand his culinary horizons? Natural curiosity tends to balance out temporary fixation in the absence of such abnormal thinking that might arise from feeling a lack of control.

> If we gave him autonomy, he’d choose candy and soda.

Whether or not this is the case, there's a difference between allowing choice and allowing all choices, and there's a difference between imposing quality and imposing quantity. But, I don't think the stereotype of a kid binging on junk-food without boundary is accurate outside families that build such foods into a rare, prized(!) and denied commodity. It's just unfortunate that that attitude is so pervasive.

[sturgill]

> [I]s it necessary to force him to expand his culinary horizons?

I don’t know. I don’t think anyone knows. But I’m guessing yes. There’s a natural internal conflict between curiosity and the comfort of routine. Every person (and thus every child) has a different predisposition in this spectrum. There are some kids you can probably get away with letting curiosity win. Our 5 y/o does not appear to me to be that kind of person. I expect he’d be very happy to live in our basement into his 30’s. Or maybe 50’s. Every kid is different.

> I don't think the stereotype of a kid binging on junk-food without boundary is accurate outside families that build such foods into a rare, prized(!) and denied commodity.

I thought this once but no longer do. Every kid is different, but our youngest is very happy to be “full” at dinner (i.e., “I don’t like that food”) and want snacks in 20 min. To which I present him his dinner plate.

[DoreenMichele]

This sounds great but breaks down at implementation

I was a full-time mom for many years. It did not break down in implementation in my home. In a nutshell, I made healthy options that my kids liked available in adequate quantity. I did not find that they wanted to live on candy.

FWIW, I also required them to taste new foods, especially fruits and vegetables, and not simply reject things out of hand. Though I was a lot younger back then. I'm not sure if I would do that these days if I were raising kids, which isn't likely to happen. But I did do that at the time.

[wst_]

Don't you think your condition is special and do not apply to majority? But even if you are a picky eater, the solution seems easy. Just put on your plate enough for a tip of your tongue. If you don't like it it's fine, not much has been wasted that way. There you go. You can keep clear plate rule. Still, I think the major problem is not clear or not the plate but rather do you have an influence on how much it goes on the plate in the first place.

[DoreenMichele]

Food impacting health is not some weird anomaly that only applies to me. My condition exaggerates the importance. That's all.