[finaliteration]

My wife’s grandparents are very much the “you aren’t leaving until you clear your plate” kind of people and it’s given her mother a lot of anxiety around food and weight. I grew up in a family of 7 where food was scarce and some nights you were lucky to get anything at all for dinner so I’m also inclined to eat way too much at each meal.

Because of this (and for other reasons) we never ever make our daughter clear her plate. If she says she’s full she can walk away. We also keep healthy snacks around the house (fruits, vegetables, whole grains, a very small amount of “junk” food) so she does “graze” throughout the day. But we don’t force food habits on her because I don’t want her growing up with a complex around food or her weight. It’s more important to me that she make healthy nutrition choices overall and keeps in touch with her body about when she’s hungry. I feel like pushing for a clean plate goes against that.

[ixtli]

I have exactly the same story. My grandparents gave my mother a borderline eating disorder. Happily she became a nutritionist and helps lots of people … but the depression-era trauma still affects us today.

[bonestamp2]

Same story here too. It took me a long time to untrain myself from clearing my plate, so we try not to let our kids think that the quantity of food available should affect how much food they eat. It sounds so obvious when it's phrased that way.

[Eric_WVGG]

My parents were like you (no pressure) and that worked really well across my childhood; then when I struck out on my own, I had a couple "Ramen years" that changed my habits into a clean-plater. Fortunately my metabolism is pretty okay, but it's starting to catch up with me, I now have to make a conscious effort to not over-portion, etc.

[black-tea]

So it sounds like you're happy if she becomes a "healthy fat". Has it really come to this?