[rootusrootus]

I went from being an individual contributor to a manager, and I would interpret that situation differently. When you are the boss, you are getting bombarded constantly. From above, below, peers, you name it. Your cognitive load goes up so much that you actively avoid bringing even more onto your plate. I definitely found myself trying on-the-fly to keep interactions superficial, especially in a group setting, just to avoid taking on yet another burden onto my already full plate.

Perhaps that would mean I suck as a manager. Though honestly I've seen the same effect on pretty much everyone I've seen go up the manager career path. I don't take any of it personally.

There are two sizes of problems -- mine, and yours, and mine will always be much more important to me.

[coldtea]

>When you are the boss, you are getting bombarded constantly. From above, below, peers, you name it. Your cognitive load goes up so much that you actively avoid bringing even more onto your plate.

Yes, I can see how saying some words of empathy or showing understanding about someone whose DAUGHTER HAD JUST BEEN KINGNAPPED might be too much on one's plate.

/s

[rootusrootus]

Perhaps the hardest part about managing people is a non trivial percentage of them will dump their personal problems on you and it can be overwhelming. It's hard to generate instant empathy on demand when everything that comes at you is someone's crisis.

Maybe the boss in this site could have been more diplomatic but I see it from his perspective and I can appreciate the need to try and push it away.

Sometimes I wonder if tech folks in particular are prone to being snowflakes.

[PavlovsCat]

> There are two sizes of problems -- mine, and yours

So if you drop a penny and I break my arm, you'd care more about the dropped penny, and when I say "ouch" you say "not now, can't you see I just dropped a penny"?

[rootusrootus]

You contrive an example but miss the fundamental truth. People will always focus more on their own problems than someone else's. I'm amused that this seems controversial. OP certainly doesn't care about the boss's problems. Which totally makes sense, except the boss, by virtue of his position, is not allowed the same privilege. A bit hipocratic but... Ok.

[coldtea]

Mel Brooks: "If I cut my finger, that's tragedy... Comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die."

[paradoxparalax]

Bitterness is always less bitter in someone else's mouth, pain seems to be less painful too.