[thonos]

this was a good read. I am currently myself spiraling down into depression and fighting against it. It's very interesting to try to get a grasp of what's going on and in the past year or so I learned more about brain chemistry, receptors, amines, enzymes, etc than I did during my entire school curriculum.

I call myself a self-proclaimed guineapig: I read a lot of papers, talk with my doc about different attempts of medication and things that I don't want to touch such as SSRIs and why, and self-medicate for things that don't need a prescription or are off-label useful for depression. Some things worked, but aren't sustainable because they aren't prescribable where I live.

Yet after a long time of fighting, the feeling of hopelessness is getting more and more stronger. Depression is horrible and I would give so much to turn back the clock to when I didn't feel the way I do now.