[rayiner]

I get you're trying to make a joke, but it's a weird criticism of Verizon specifically. Every FiOS circuit I've had over the last 15 years, except for some growing pains with gigabit, has tested at 10% over its rated speed. Verizon also has particularly generous compensation: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/14/business/verizon-workers-... (union members make $130,000 on average in salary and benefits).

[ryandrake]

I just got back from Thanksgiving visiting my folks in rural PA where Verizon DSL is the only so-called high speed option, and it barely worked. I often could not even load the speed test pages. They were getting far less (10-20%?) than advertised. I thought the joke was brilliant and apt.

[jandrese]

Verizon DSL and Verizon FiOS are entirely different beasts. Your parents are likely right on the edge of DSL availability, where it starts to get really flaky.