[painstakingly]

I understand. I had prescription for Co-codamol, which is Codeine and paracetamol. I had been taking it for 8 months every day maximum dose. I have not had the urge to take more but I had become worried that paracetamol will destroy my liver so I stopped. It wasn't difficult but maybe because I substituted it with Kratom afterwards. I have been taking it daily for two years now. Sometimes it doesn't work and I have to resist the feeling to get more because that will change the tolerance even more and cause downwards spiral. I read a lot about addiction and how it works so I am careful. I guess I am sad that what I take now is illegal and another alternative is also illegal. I know that any day my life can be over, not because my illness, but because someone would like to punish me for wanting to help myself with my symptoms. Doctors tried all possible drugs that are prescribed for my illness (except stronger opiates) and none helped. At this point I probably could do something in the direction of suing the government for denying me the right to health, but I have seen previous case where that gone nowhere for the claimants. Basically the system is setup that the illegal drugs are bad and your illness is just an excuse to take them. Absolute madness!