[theseanstewart]

> For parents sick of hearing “Almost done. One last game”: What’s worked for us: (1) Don’t freak, they’re not addicted (the pathologizing of gaming may do more harm than the games themselves) (2) set a timer & provide consistent consequences (without anger) when they go over..13/N

On a semi-related note. When I was a kid my parents used to make us quit our gaming session with little to no warning. This wasn't a big issue with single player games because they can be saved/paused, but that's obviously not possible with online multiplayer games. Unfortunately, that didn't matter to them, and it resulted in many interrupted gaming sessions and unnecessary consequences and behavioral issues from me and my siblings.

Now that I'm a parent, I've made a promise to my kids that I will always let them finish their current game before kicking them off. If they start a new game after they've been given the last game warning, then there's consequences. They know this, and we rarely have any issues related to behavior and gaming.

[wlesieutre]

>This wasn't a big issue with single player games because they can be saved/paused

"I need to get to a save room!"

"You can pause it."

5 minutes later

"I unplugged the gamecube because you weren't playing anymore."

...

[worldstarhiphop]

Sounds like an excerpt from Bojack Horseman

[c0nducktr]

You're right! I can definitely read it and hear an exchange between Todd and BoJack.

[swsieber]

I think most of the time you'll know when you'll need to interrupt them (e.g. dinner at a regular time). In that case, I'd say - be off by this time. They can learn to plan ahead and give themselves the needed headroom if they want to avoid the negative consequences.

[kgwxd]

I try to think of it like they're playing in a physical room full of their friends. I wouldn't suddenly barge in and drag them out by the arm.

[Humdeee]

I remember many years ago trying to explain to my father that I can't "just quit" as there was someone else on the other side. He didn't believe me and took a few seconds to watch. This was a 1v1 style game (starcraft brood war). Typing out "hello" into the chat prompt was met with "shut the f--- up and play, fag" from my opponent. He was actually an online friend. I was maybe 12. My father got the picture, but he yanked out the dial up for a while.

[celticninja]

Yeah it works both ways, I know what can and can't be saved so I know if you can pause immediately or not. If not, the end of the game is fine and if so I expect it to be paused PDQ. I also give 5 or 10 minute warnings so they dont start a new game.

[deytempo]

Almost done with this one last game of Civilization V mom.

[r00fus]

Timers are key. I have a special needs kid, and timers are doubly needed. For now I just say "20m" set the kitchen timer and when it rings, all the kids have to e.g. come to dinner.

I wish there were some good method for kids to "earn" screen time (ie, parent could add/approve) that would be automatically deducted on usage of the device(s) (with blackout times where usage isn't possible).

[rootusrootus]

For iOS devices, Screen Time does that. My kids have iPads and I set certain hours they are allowed to be used at all, time limits per day, and if they run out of time they can ask for more and I can approve via my watch/phone. I set the daily time limit pretty low and then give them opportunities to earn a bit more, which I dynamically add to their total.

[vrazj]

>Now that I'm a parent, I've made a promise to my kids that I will always let them finish their current game before kicking them off. If they start a new game after they've been given the last game warning, then there's consequences. They know this, and we rarely have any issues related to behavior and gaming.

This is good but most parents don't really know how games work so they can't look at the UI to see if their children are lying.

[detaro]

Luckily they have kids that can explain the games to them.

[Pfhreak]

So much this. I'm a parent. I'm a game developer. I'm a former kid who dreamed that someday my parents would sit down and ask me to show them what I was doing.

You should know what your kids are playing, and what better way than to show interest in their hobbies. (And, like, maybe talk about it afterwards?)

[watwut]

The amount of time required to play most games is extremely high and expectation that parent should spend so much time with something parent does not like completely absurd.

There is also a moment where gamers should understand that the world does not revolt around them nor their games. When everybody is helping preparing dinner and what not, or expected to be on time, there is no rational reason to give the gamer exceptions.

[AzMoo_]

There isn't an expectation that you will put in all the time required to completely learn a game, but there is an expectation that you will put in the time required to have a basic understanding of the game. As a parent you should know what games your children are playing, the type of content they're being exposed to within those games, and the amount of time they're putting into them. If you're not willing to put in enough time to know what your children are doing then don't have children.

[detaro]

no, watching a few rounds of Fortnite or having your kid show you round their Minecraft world does not require "extremely high" amounts of time and already gives you a useful insight in what's going on. Nobody is asking you to become competitive in a game, or even just play if you don't like it. And your second paragraph is a complete non-sequitur.

[Pfhreak]

> When everybody is helping preparing dinner and what not

Right, during those times, the family should be helping prep dinner. My four year old helps prep dinner and does chores afterwards.

But we, as a family, also have leisure time and interests. In my opinion, if your kid was into baseball, you should try and show an interest by going to games or playing catch. If they were into dance, maybe go to their recitals or encourage them to practice.

No one is expecting you to be good at your kids hobbies. Or even enjoy them. But I believe you should show support and make an attempt to regularly engage with them.

[celticninja]

I understand Fortnite and I don't play it. My kids do and so I find out about it, played a few Agnes, watched them and now I know its ok. Other kids get a blanket ban because their parents don't understand or they are playing CoD because their parents don't understand. My kids know that some games are not appropriate for them and if I say something is ok the it's fine. E.g south park fractured but whole is not but halo is.

[tlrobinson]

The parent comment suggested "sit down and ask me to show them what I was doing", not "regularly play and become good at the games they play"

[ryanlol]

Is it really absurd to expect parents to show just a little bit of interest in their kids hobbies?

>There is also a moment where gamers should understand that the world does not revolt around them nor their games

Is it really unreasonable for children to expect their parents world to pretty much revolve around them?

[watwut]

> Is it really unreasonable for children to expect their parents world to pretty much revolve around them?

Yes it is. It is reasonable to expect care and relationship. It is not reasonable to expect your hobby to treated as something more special then hobbies of siblings, grandparents and parents. It is reasonable for other family members to expect kid to participate on activities I mentioned no matter what their interests are.

Parents world revolve around children when they are danger to themselves due to young age or sickness or behavioral problems. It revolves around children for many unavoidable reasons, gaming not being one of them.

It is not reasonable to expect to be tiptoed around just because your choice of hobby. In fact, it is expected that parents teach this the kid.

> Is it really absurd to expect parents to show just a little bit of interest in their kids hobbies?

To be able to listen about it? Yes. To be participating? No. Just like with any other kids interest like collecting little pink ponies or memorizing flags.

If the kid cant organize the game (stop playing soon enough to be at time) while still participating in outside world, then the kid is not ready to play that game. If the kid is moody after playing game and generally pain in the ass, it is reasonable to stop accommodating gaming and dealing with the behavior the same way parents punish/criticize siblings acting that way for non-gaming reasons.

[Waterluvian]

I remember my older brother saying, "it's like dungeons and dragons" when I asked my dad to buy Warcraft. That got the idea shut down immediately.

But later in the year I was quite insistent that it's not that bad. So my dad agreed to watch a bit. I played the first few levels of the demo for him. I still vividly remember him saying, "that's it?" And then we bought it later that week.

[fjsolwmv]

What's wrong with D&D?

[Waterluvian]

No clue. Probably just a remnant of the D&D fear of the 80s. This was 1994 or around then. Whenever Warcraft came out.

[baldfat]

Making an effort to learn about your child's interest in one of the most beneficial things you can do as a parent.

[ugh123]

"But mom, the next check point is 8 levels ahead"