[intralizee]

I’m confused why you would think id. Everyone is ruled by circumstance “every moment” and even when the person enjoys every bit of it. A puppet that loves who controls his strings is still without free will. I’m a transgender woman for example and had an unfavorable life, almost everyday by how persons treat me by aesthetics and from my understanding of your writing “I would only be considered having free will” if achieving the impossible against reality. Except even in that case I wasn’t free for desiring the outcome, having it happen and even enjoying it. Accountability never is correct unless directed towards the complete system as a whole. Everyone is forced every moment till death.

[ganzuul]

Well, the rhetoric about Id, Ego and Super-ego is Freudian, so it probably doesn't hold up under scrutiny.

Strictly, what I mean is that some things which seem impossible are in fact possible if only barely. E.g. With advances in genetic engineering, the term 'transgender' might have a very different meaning in 100 years, but those advances appear to come at great cost. Perhaps then one will not need to be as brave as you to undergo vast psychosexual changes to the self.

I see accountability as something I have to myself. - I am very reluctant to lie to myself since I realized there are things which I only have myself to blame for. Furthermore I don't believe there is a purpose to life since that would contradict free will. Instead of purpose, I have the freedom to make whatever I want of my life.

[intralizee]

I haven't lost "accountability" for myself, in a sense "it" has morphed into awareness of certainty of how every little thing alters the assigned story of everyone. It has made me a lot more forgiving to others & myself, with less anxiety and better mental health. I believe it has brought me clearer analysis of my thinking patterns.

Basically, I think I'm closer to my perfect self because I understand better to why my actions are taken and how I'm controlled by what is around me on the highest level obtainable. Similar to how a god would perceive anything if one existed and is truly omniscient.

I'm leaning towards the idea, "people are better humans when understanding free will doesn't exist" and how there is "no control" over anything. I think a lot of people who haven't lived with my mindset for an extended period of time, dismiss the health benefits by assuming it's bad because you will feel like you need to be at fault or in control for joy to exist or meaning. I don't believe for a second that is the case.

I'm still able to have happy moments. I would say I'm more grateful and acknowledging of them when they happen. I likely would be dead by suicide if I didn't think the way I do now but I still contemplate suicide with likelihood because gender dysphoria sucks when born in the time period I was without getting help. So I don't think understanding there is no free brings suicide and really whatever happens was fate when understanding determinism. I do 100% believe life is not meaningless from me understanding determinism and truly everyone fills a purpose in progressing society or even retracting progress. Freedom isn't necessary and will never exist.