[ewjordan]

I 100% disagree. Have had extremely interesting conversations out of essentially this question regardless of my status relative to the person I'm asking (plus or minus 3 levels in the management chain), except in the rare case that the person is so super shy that they can't come up with anything to say even with coaxing. People that don't give a shit about me are even more interesting when they answer.

With a person who is higher status than you, they invariably have a life story that they are practiced at and enjoy telling, and know how to answer this question in a really satisfying and engaging manner because it's been asked so many times. That's the easy one, and pretty much no high level person will be upset if you ask.

It's toughest with someone not used to answering this question, or someone who thinks of you as higher status - in those cases, you can't just say "tell me about you", you have to make them comfortable and coax them into getting excited to tell you about things they care about. That requires active attention and listening, and is not necessarily easy.

Asking people to tell you about themselves is never rude, in any case. If your conception of "rude" includes that, then you're gonna have a rough time in all but the most wonky parts of business.

[goto11]

> they invariably have a life story that they are practiced at and enjoy telling, and know how to answer this question in a really satisfying and engaging manner because it's been asked so many times.

Yeah the point is you have prepared and practiced an engaging "sales pitch" for yourself. If you are experienced in networking or interviewing this is second nature to you. But it would be pretty rude to ask outside of a professional or networking setting IMHO. You are challenging the person to "sell themselves" to you, which is highly inappropriate outside of business.

[everdrive]

Looks like we found the introvert and extrovert here.

[hyperpape]

I wonder if there's a difference of social context here. I feel like "tell me about yourself" would come off as very pretentious to a lot of people.

That said, I've never really tried. Do you literally say "tell me about yourself"?

[JumpCrisscross]

> Do you literally say "tell me about yourself"?

Yup! Or “what’s your story?”

[hashwithrice]

I agree that it comes off as pretentious to a lot of people if you open with that in any normal context. I think the right context for it is if you are expected to be sharing life stories, e.g dating, interviews, networking and stuff like that. I think Terry Gross gets away with it in other contexts because she's a famous interviewer.

[watwut]

"Tell me about yourself" is not question, it is instruction. You give instructions and expect other one to obey them.

The discussions where the other person don't expect me to be the one who has to reveal all details or where I get to ask questions too are more comfortable.