One of the first pieces of great advice I got from my first real programming mentor was to never learn COBOL, or someone will make you write it. :-)
After you learn first hand why no good hacker wants to write COBOL, you might want to heed a related piece of advice: never admit you can write COBOL to anyone, for precisely the same reason. :-)
My condolences on your new job, but I hope you make good money and do something fun with it.
Just trying to get a good sample, I guess... I have no real idea of the hell on earth that I am walking into.