|
At 19, you have no way of knowing whether you're too dumb for anything. All people are dumb at something, vast majority of 19 year olds are dumb at all things. It's possible to have aptitude for something you haven't tried yet, it's possible that getting good takes just a lot more time and effort than you put in so far. The only way to find out how good you can get is to try a lot of stuff for a few years, and spend 10-20 more years doing the thing you like the most(or have the most aptitude at). Maybe you'll push through and find a way to get success with CS, maybe you'll find out you're good at writing or art or public speaking or something else. One of my favorite quotes (from Atomic Habits): > Focus on fulfilling your own potential not comparing yourself to someone else. People get so caught up in fact that they have limits that they rarely exert the effort required to get close to them. Keep trying and learning and reading, this definitely beats killing yourself. Also, as other people have said, your post reads like you're depressed. If you have suicidal thoughts - share them with your friends, parents, a doctor, or someone else you trust. The odds are it's just your brain chemistry making you feel these things, which is fixable for many people with lifestyle changes and medication. Speaking of which, make sure to eat healthy, have enough high quality sleep, and regular exercise. You'll be really surprised how much difference this stuff makes, especially over time, both in intelligence and mood. I felt suicidal when I was 19, and I'm VERY happy I didn't do this, I ended up discovering things I love doing and feel very passionate about, and I want to live SO MUCH, more and more every year. If you don't feel like living for your career, live to watch the next season of Rick and Morty, to see Elon Musk land a spaceship on Mars, to have your intelligence improved with whatever crazy tech we'll have in 20 years, to avoid upsetting your parents - find any excuse to keep going, it doesn't matter, what matters is that it's VERY likely that a few years from now your life will change in all sorts of surprising unexpected ways and you'll feel about this stuff very differently. |