| >Strictly taking everything people say at face value is great way to become somebody who "can't take a hint." Yes. And yes, that's the way to go. In my experience, when people of differing backgrounds try to read between the lines, you will get more damage than when things are simply not said. Absence of information leaves you somewhat open minded. Wrongly interpreted information often leads to bad decisions and fruitless battles. If you've been the person that lots of people attribute stuff to because they read things between your words that simply did not exist, you'll know what I'm talking about. >The problem is that there are many things people want to communicate but would rather not say because they're likely to lead to uncomfortable situations. Completely agree. That's why the standard communication trainings/books focus heavily on making it safe enough for the other person to speak. There's no good alternative to that. >Suppose a coworker offers you mints or gum every time you speak to them. If you only take their words literally, you'll think, "Gee, what a generous person," and miss entirely their true meaning: "Your breath stinks and it's bothering me but I don't want to hurt your feelings, so I'm giving you out where we can both pretend you fixed the problem before anyone noticed." Sorry - I completely read the first half of the scenario and came to a different conclusion. As will many others. I'm going to say what one book on communications essentially said: Utilizing tact is a poor fix to poor communications. People use tact because they do not know how to communicate well. |