[copperx]

> just assume that people mean nothing more or less than the literal words they said to you. Don't read more into it than they actually say.

One of the most brilliant professors I have met fiercely preached this belief, and I can see how it can help some interpersonal relationships. But he took it to an extreme. When somebody asked him whether he thought Trump was racist, he responded "well, has Trump said that he is a racist?". The idea is that whether a person lies or not is immaterial; you should take the persons words as the ultimate truth. He is the most well published professor in the entire university, and an internationally respected mathematician.

I tend to read everything "between the lines," and I think about my professor's words often, because I wonder whether this habit is affecting my relationships.

[spookthesunset]

Not that I can't appreciate what you are saying but it is also true that actions can speak louder than words. It isn't what you say that matters, it is what you do.

It is one thing to say you aren't a racist, but if if you act like one all the time then congratulations, you actually are a racist even if you never say you are one.

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck.... it's probably a duck.

[sheepmullet]

> When somebody asked him whether he thought Trump was racist, he responded "well, has Trump said that he is a racist?"

A wise response.

It is incredibly easy to smear a person in the “other” tribe.