| I have your exact problem. I've been diagnosed as autism type I as well (equivalent to asperger's). There are lots of good tips here, and often people suggest reading books and whatnot. Personally, it looks a bit overwhelming. I'll give you my advice just to add to the torrent, and hopefully you'll read it. I hope it's a bit gentler. I'm not currently employed (still in university) and so this little problem of mine has not affected me as much as it may have affected you, but I recognize it will likely become a problem in the future, so I've been taking steps to remedy the thing. 1) The first thing I did this semester was start a conversation with the guy sitting next to me in class. He asked that I save his seat. When he came back, I asked what program he was in and etc. and got his Facebook contact info. Now, I've gone to great lengths to avoid him outside of class, but we talk in the ten minutes before the lecture starts, and I have found it's a good balance of pain vs gain. Take home: 5-10 min of meaningless conversation is better than nothing. 2) Someone else came up to me this semester in another class, asking about the homework. In time, I found that sitting next to him and chatting idly was actually relaxing. He is the kind of guy we all need in our life-- he simply doesn't have judgments to doll out to you, and will happily converse about whatever comes up, and happily sit silent if there's nothing to talk about. I make sure to ask how he is on occasion if I don't see him around. Take home: When you find someone that doesn't make you want to jump out of your skin, attempt to maintain your relationship. 3) Maintaining relationships: If you don't like social obligations but still want to maintain relationships to the degree that you're not treated as a robot in the office, the best thing to do is ask questions of the other person, the answers to which, of course, you are personally and genuinely interested in. I ask people about their day to start, and then I ask questions about their future: what do they want and why. This helps me understand their motivations and puts me at ease because the knowledge allows me to predict their behavior more accurately. Another thing is to just ask about people's days whenever you see them. When people give you a genuine response to the question, then you know you're on their good side. You can get on their good side by acting interested in them and asking about their day! 4) Don't push yourself to take on too many relationships or to get close to a lot of people. Keep it as simple as possible. Maintain as much distance as you want while at the same time edging slowly out of your comfort zone. Say hi or smile at people you pass in the office. If someone comes to your desk to give you a task, ask them how their day is going, SMILE. It's these little tiny actions that accumulate in the other person's mind to form a picture of you. You don't need to do anything huge. |