| I don't have particular resources for this type of issue but a few pointers which might help: 1 - Have a clear definition of your jobs remit in your own mind and be willing to say no entirely or partially to requests which are impossible or poorly defined. If someone hasn't given it thought themselves, why should you? This should be phrased in a polite manner and if they don't respond followed up after a few days to ensure blame cannot be placed on you. 2 - Identify key figures in your environment who are gatekeeprs/yield power in the business. These are people who you want to befriend or destabalise/reduce their power over you. 3 - Get some social skills outside of work, socialising is a skillset and can be developed regardless of the person. It is easier for some and more difficult for others but with practice you will improve, why not try a local tech club to test the water and maybe have some fun? 4 - Go to work events once you have some social skills. If you're terrible at even having a short, average conversation about the weekend for example, you will just be known as the awkward work guy who comes to events but no one likes.. 5 - Understand what people want/their motiviations and their routine; If you can understand what makes a person tick and how they function, even on a low level you can use this information to either build rapport or to introduce chaos. An example of this would be a persons morning routine, if you know someone, lets say your boss arrives at 7:58 in the morning like clockwork, puts his bags by his desk and then gets ready to grab a coffee, why not ask him just before he puts his bags down and goes through the coffee thought process? You can talk about how the weekend was, maybe something funny that happened in the office etc and build rapport but also provide an outlet for venting. |