[blattimwind]

This exact snippet could both be part of a SSC (safe, sane and consensual) relationship, or sexual harassment, possibly even sexual exploitation. Which it is, depends on the context; removing or implying context makes it very easy to have one appear as the other.

[samstave]

Exactly. And people would get surprised to know just how many "sexually progressive" (I'm using that term because I don't know a better one) people there are in silicon valley.

I know people who have full BDSM dungeons in their homes, go to all sorts of outrageous parties and have some of the craziest stories.

SV in general has every type of person.

I recall some contractors commenting on a multi-million dollar "pleasure dungeon" they built into a huge mansion in Los Altos Hills....

So, for some this can be SSC, for other context it can be far worse.

One thing is for sure, whatever the context, these situations typically don't turn out good when they get the public eye.

[zbentley]

> these situations typically don't turn out good when they get the public eye.

And you think the ones that don't have turned out better?

[samstave]

Jeasus. Yeah thats exactly what I meant. WTF?

[natch]

Better for the abuser, you mean?

[blattimwind]

I'm not quite understanding what you are saying. Do you mean kink in general is abusive; do you mean workplace relationships are abusive or are you relating to this specific case?

[natch]

I was asking samstave. It's complicated... Of course kink in general is not abusive. But often when otherwise private things are exposed publicly, abuse or alleged abuse is the reason for the exposure. It's a general thing, but it's also related to the specific case where some presumably non-workplace relationship details came out and there was apparent (not proven) arguable abuse of financial privilege which shows that, if true, this is not necessarily a wonderful person that I would want as a leader in my company. And the information coming out is not great for the abuser. In this specific case we can say the alleged abuser, if that helps.