[thekingofh]

Silence is great, but there's something more to small talk than just filling silence. Small talk primes the pump for some good conversation. I can't tell you how many times I've come across great conversations and tidbits of information that I'd never have if I didn't chat up with some kind of nonsense to start the conversation. Or alternatively if someone else didn't. The initial part of the conversation is useless, we all know that, but it's a handshake of sorts to see if there's a possibility of a good exchange of something more. If the other person doesn't want to talk, then a quick canned response is the equivalent of, "Hi I acknowledge you, but I don't want to talk right now.". There's a protocol. If the person wants to talk they'll give the canned response, with an added tidbit that can be grabbed onto for further conversation. People are usually just going through their day on autopilot, waiting for a opportunity to connect with someone.

[hrktb]

I feel this is in the same vein as asking every girl on the street if she wants to have a drink.

That definitely can be one way to meet one’s life partner. But it’s so grating from the other side, even if the request is very polite and non pushy.

Some people live for the human contact, others don’t want any. Honestly it’s a PITA when the social norm puts an obligation to respond, even briefly, to not seem rude.

If it’s a protocol, there should be an option to just drop the incomming packets and go on with one’s life.

[thekingofh]

This is true if you are running into people on such a basis that it becomes cumbersome. It may be a cultural/geographical thing, where in the US there's ton's of space and in some areas, especially rural ones where you see more small talk, it's possible that you don't see anyone for days at a time, which means you run into your neighbor and the small talk is a way to prime up a conversation. The more dense the population the more cumbersome this type of behavior becomes. The larger the countryside, the more likely the people are going to be using small talk to break the ice.

[QuantumGood]

A lot of life is dealing with things that are a PITA, and there are advantages in developing skill dealing with them. Develop a strategy, practice. Lots of books and articles about this.

[hrktb]

In this particular case, for some it’s a PITA and for some a pleasure in life or at least something they seek out.

That unbalance is the interesting part I think, just like so many things in life where changing perspective is needed to deal with people.

About books and articles...It’s another topic, but I don’t know, I find a lot of these have a “how to fix your personality” angle that is just innapropriate and/or unproductive. Becoming an extravert or small talk guru shouldn’t be the goal. And, as you say, developping strategies to have less people noise and more mindful communication is usually so personal, while not being that hard, that it’s not a very good subject for a self help book.

[QuantumGood]

Yeah, research books AND goal types before you study. Lots of good suggestions on HN.

[Pudini]

If it’s a protocol, there should be an option to just drop the incomming packets and go on with one’s life.

This. Now if any of those influencers could start a campaign to make a short signal socially acceptable for "drop communications".

I vote for making an X with your index fingers.