[newtothebay]

As a young professional who's realized the importance of maintaining a network, I'd love to learn how you stay in touch with your former co-workers.

Do you reach out for weekend lunch dates just to chat? Are people open to that (given work, hobbies, kids, etc.)? I'm having a hard time coming with "excuses" and serendipity to stay in touch with people I'm no longer working with.

[wallflower]

> Do you reach out for weekend lunch dates just to chat?

This is not necessarily about ex-coworkers.

In general, weekend time is more guarded and precious so try to meet for a coffee/drink after work. Or you can both go to an event that is related to mutual interest (tech is possible but would not recommend it). Trying to meet more than one person at the same time also leads to scheduling difficulties.

If you want to meet up with more than one person, consider hosting a Tuesday night dinner party. Nothing fancy, do take out if you can't cook that well. Tuesday night is usually an "off" night for most people.

Ideally, you meet with people you would like to stay in touch about every 3 months. A person is not really in your direct network unless they know who you are and can recognize you in person and know what you are currently working on and have seen you in about the last 3 months. But here's the catch, you don't necessarily have to be directly in contact with everyone. A simple "How is Jane doing? Have you heard from her" can keep you updated enough.

There are some people from work that you might think you'll remain friends with after leaving with whom you do not meetup with again. That is ok. People drift off. Maybe it was just the recurring coincidence of time, location, and possibly purpose (going to the office for years) that made you "friends".

Like the saying goes:

Friends for a lifetime

Friends for a reason

Friends for a season.

The most naturally extroverted individuals that I know have many social circles. One friend I know always buys two tickets to a performance and never lets the other person pay for it.

Finally true friends whom are hard to find are those who you can open up and be vulnerable with.

Facebook has bastardized the term friend. Not everyone is going to be your friend, as it requires reciprocity and shared caring.

[docker_up]

"Hey! wassap, how's life?? Want to go grab lunch next week?" I never schedule anything during the weekend, only during the week. And I don't mind travelling out to see

Literally, that's what I will send to one of my ex-coworkers, or vice versa. It's not anything more than that. Either through gChat or Facebook Messenger, I don't find it that hard, and I don't feel like I need excuses.

I recently went to a going-away/layoff party for one of the first engineers I worked under in Silicon Valley, 20+ years ago. I hadn't personally talked to him in 10+ years, but he was delighted to see me. We shared war stories about our old company, dot com bust, etc. It was great, and doesn't have to be anything more than that.

[vanadium]

I have a personal Slack instance of all the people I've worked with and/or managed--and have earned my trust--over the past 7-8 years. We're close-knit and look out for one another in the Chicago market. We've landed each other new gigs, swarmed to help when someone's in need, etc.

That and we're always bouncing news, advice, and helping one another in said Slack instance. Safety in numbers.

[pattle]

I wish I had this

[sanderjd]

Personally, I mostly text (or WhatsApp) and email with them. Sometimes if it's someone I've really lost touch with who seems to be doing interesting stuff now, I'll send them a LinkedIn message including my email address and tell them to hit me up. Sometimes I'll grab a coffee with them, but most of my favorite coworkers don't live in my town, so it's harder to meet in person. But I really think email is sufficient to keep in touch. I'll send links to stuff on GitHub or blogs that I think they would find interesting (or that I think they'd enjoy giving me a hard time for still being interested in). I also know people who set up Slack / Discord channels for keeping in touch. I don't do that, but I could see where it's nice.

Edit: the other thing I do is pass along interesting looking recruiting emails to people who I know are more on the market than I am. I figure they'll do the same for me next time I'm ready to move on.

[imhoguy]

Keep warm list of people on Skype/Hangouts/whatever IM. I have got multiple IM clients running just to keep contact with people I have previously worked with, even some whom I haven't seen live for over 10 years now. There is a lot of occasional exchange of creative ideas, interesting links or just silly "how is it going at...?" out of boredom.