[JustThrowMeAway]

    After almost 25 years of taking antidepressants,
    I had no emotion left whatsoever. I felt dead and
    wanted to be dead.

I wonder how to understand this.

If you have no emotions, can you still want something? Why would you want to die?

I tend to understand this sentence in a way that means she was suffering. But isn't suffering the same as experiencing negative emotions?

Or is this supposed to mean that she had no good emotions left, only painful ones?

[eugman]

Think of a sine wave, with the y-axis representing the positivity/negitivity. A representation of life's ups and downs.

I think what she was saying when she said "no emotion left" is that the amplitude of that wave was nearly zero. The wave didn't go up or down much. When she said, "I want to be dead", she's saying that the the average value is down in the negatives.

[egypturnash]

nothing matters

there is just endless work, endless things that need to be done to keep yourself alive

and why do you bother when the reward is just more endless days like today? nothing to live for, nothing to care about, no energy to do anything but just sit around watching your body slowly fall apart

fighting against entropy is constant work and actually giving a shit about anything helps give you a reason to put in that work

and by "work" i don't just mean "your day job", I also mean things like "getting out of bed" or "feeding yourself" or "doing anything at all interesting"