Possibly, but the notion of a retirement home as a kind of prison or punishment seems to be rooted in pop culture.
Remember the running gag from "The Golden Girls" where Sophia, the oldest member of the cast, was often threatened to be sent back to the retirement home of hell "Shady Pines".
Depends on the culture too. Some of those "not sharing" those feelings belong to cultures that are OK with putting your parents there instead of taking care of them -- and think it's "for the better". Others wouldn't (statistically) let that happen, even if they have "busy lives" themselves.
(Another alternative of course popular in some cultures is to let them toil away even at 70 or more, and have them live alone and "independent", with the token visit).
I'm not sure you accurately diagnose the degree of polarization in the population with ideas of resentment and hostility that are largely subconscious and tend not to surface until stress manipulates those repressed emotions into actually being confronted as eventually obvious explanations for actions undertaken with ulterior motives.
These feelings are universally shared, but only visible to most in times of scarcity and fear. When economies are bubbling along in mania, people tend to lose sight of the eventualities regarding unsustainable societies. It's easy for people to rationalize their actions as charity, benevolence, and empathetic concern when they themselves are rewarded daily for vocalizing the whitewash and justifying what should be by what is now. When the music stops and individuals are left to fend for a chance at a seat, the full intention of previous actions becomes apparent as if malice is not something definable by planned greed and desire but puppetered unknowingly by a more clairvoyant self that protects its fragile present with the blessing of moral amnesia.
I completely agree that people in general do not want to deal with near death elders , or elders who need caretaking. As of course this is a huge burden and very distracting. I’ve also dealt with this a number of times. It’s certisnly not fun or easy.
BUT all the other undertone and reasoning (e.g. spite), I completely disagree with and do not think this is representative of the majority, or even a large minority.
I'll assume you are indicating that the visitor logs are often empty. Given that, I do not see how no visitors correlates to the families doing it out of vengeance or spite. In general, I feel the poster extremely amplified the reasons why people put family members in nursing homes. Based on this wording, specifically the paragraph about "letting them rot all drugged up... in a urine soaked room". This indicates a rather extreme, and I'd wager rare stance to take. I'm wondering if this is from their own anecdotal evidence.
I do know for sure nursing homes are definitely used to "remove a burden." Dealing with elders at that stage of life can very taxing, and many people would rather simply avoid it. They may even, as the poster hinted at, dislike their family member. However, even then I don't think they share as strong emotions as the poster.
I don't see much daylight between neglecting (apathy towards) family and vengeance or spite.
Whatever the case, I'd welcome research into attitudes towards eldercare. Right now, I feel like we're flying blind. For instance, I wouldn't be surprised whatsoever if GenX'ers (like me) would rather die than be warehoused. But no one I know is thinking that far ahead, having these discussions with their kids. Nor are our parents discussing this with us, now that it's our turn to be the care givers.
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For instance:
Family Involvement in Residential Long-Term Care: A Synthesis and Critical Review [2008]
"... These collective findings have helped debunk the myth that families abandon their relatives in nursing homes or similar settings to die in isolation..."
Remember the running gag from "The Golden Girls" where Sophia, the oldest member of the cast, was often threatened to be sent back to the retirement home of hell "Shady Pines".