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by ggm 2829 days ago
It's not unusual to mourn in these circumstances. Thirty years ago I piloted a project to deploy squid caches in a time of extepreme international transit costs and watched the project taken from me, and deployed by somebody who took it national, save the company millions and launched his career.

The thing is, from thirty years distance I can see why they did it: he had skills I didn't and drive I didn't and frankly I couldn't have done what he did.

I don't say this is your situation but I invite you to reflect on it, and ask yourself if what you think you wanted from this company and this situation reflects your core inner vision and drive.

1 comments

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I really appreciate it! It is an important question I need to figure out. If I was truly allowed to continue in what I helped build - would it be something I want?

Part of the challenge is in the opportunity being removed from me and not being able to decide if it's what I wanted.

Yes. the "loss of control" thing. or "loss of agency" -Very real. You invest huge amounts of mental energy birthing something and then .. its just (feels like randomly) taken away from you and given to somebody else to direct and you lose the moment of decision.

Thats really hard. I suspect, its fated to be something which is innate in anyone who makes "new" things, even founders: at some level you have to decide its ok to let go but not having control of even when that happens.. burns.

I don't know how this works in your company, but in mine, (not for profit sector) I was able to talk to HR about this without downside consequences. Having them help clarify structural thinking around "what you want" from work, worked for me. What I learned is, that I don't want the management burden which goes with having directing force over things, and so I chose to become a subject matter specialist in prototyping and research, which meant I semi continuously acquire this situation: I make things, which then other people get to take to their future state. But on the other hand I don't have the horrible (to me) consequences of managing groups, outcomes, projects.