[csomar]

SEA is not helping you but letting you down. You only go to SEA when you are making Western World money online or remotely and living there. Move back to your country. See what kind of assistance they are offering you to get back on your feet. Find a local job.

Other advice: Don't get married. Don't ruin your health and be careful especially now. Share a rental. Don't travel back to SEA.

[whysine]

Yes, I've been contemplating this for a long time. Actually, I already went back once already - and ended up here again after just two months. My biggest problem is that I've been out of a job for ages and I don't have much in the way of qualifications and skills. The most likely jobs I could get back home are things like delivery or burger flipping. I know, beggars can't be choosers. In the past, I wouldn't have given such jobs a thought. However, recently, I've been seriously considering it. I guess I got way too lazy.

[mattm]

Unfortunately, going to SEA is figuratively digging yourself into a hole. The longer you stay there, the bigger the hole gets and the more difficult it becomes to climb out.

I have a good friend around your age in your situation and have known others as well. I think what you're experiencing is fairly common because at some level, you realize you're an outsider in the country (even if you have connections with other digital nomads).

I've also been in situations where I've had an abundance of free time and would think "Now I can really focus on things that I want to do" but instead have just frittered it away. Work and a sense of contributing to a greater good is a necessary part of happiness. It also provides structure which can be important as well.

After university I went to Europe for a year. After I came back, I had no money so I worked at Toys R Us for the Christmas season and lived with my parents to save up money while looking for a programming job which I eventually found (first a short term contract and then full time).

I would recommend that you pack up and go home asap. Spending more time in Cambodia is just digging into that hole more. It will only get more difficult to leave later. If you can, stay with family or friends and get a part-time job at the grocery store or something to start giving you some structure and earning some money. With your spare time, look for entry-level development jobs where you'll be able to learn while you work. It sounds like this is the key you've been missing.

I know it sucks having to start over at 35 but it's better to do it now than in another 10 or 15 years. The fact that you've been contemplating going back for a long time now means that really you already know it's the right decision. You're just having trouble committing to it.