| HN Mirror

1. Repeat their own perspective back to them, validating how awesome they are for having it. Seriously. Find the origin/axiom of their perspective from their POV, which is usually something rather commendable, and be clear that you think it's awesome they're so empathetic, self-sacrificing, generous, what-have-you. They should be nodding along feeling super awesome while you're admitting how hard those traits/sacrifices are to have.

2. Acknowledge right off the bat that both of you, really everyone, is racist, sexist, etc. Reference a few studies, talk about how we all grow up in a racist, sexist context and there's no escaping it only mitigating the problem. Once again, bunch of nods.

3. Talk about the divide within politics and how important it is to do the work of understanding the other side's POV. Acknowledge how hard it is on BOTH sides. More nods.

The tone so far, and for the rest of the conversation, should be soft and concerned.

At this point they think you agree with them 100% and that they have the moral high ground on you because you're impressed with their noble spirit and actions.

4. Initially present it as a POV someone else has that find yourself being persuaded by or agreeing with. Make sure you know the priority difference or fact disagreement that leads to the two sides disagreeing, so you're able to say either, "I looked it up, and I was surprised to see that they're right. X has been proven / did happen. It's hard to see how that fits into the other side's narrative." or "I might disagree with them, but it's clearly a difference of opinion/morals and who am I to force them to have my opinion/morals?"

5. At this point in the conversation, you can FINALLY admit that you actually DO agree with the other side. But you've soft-walked them there, the entire time showing why and how you reached that conclusion. You began from THEIR context, rather than yours. You didn't start at A when they were at Z. You met them at Z and walked them to A.