| For anyone else as ignorant about this period of history as me, the Wikipedia articles are a real trip. Geta -- murdered by his co-emperor and brother because they didn't like each other (aged 22) Caracalla (the brother) -- murdered at the behest of Macrinus while urinating on the side of the road (aged 29) Macrinus -- reigned one year before being defeated by an uprising that brought 14-year-old Elagabalus to power, ultimately beheaded Elagabalus -- married and divorced five times during his four-year reign, including to the widow of a man he had executed and possibly also to a man; was assassinated by his own Praetorian Guards, beheaded, and his body was dragged around Rome (aged ~18) Severus Alexander -- replaced cousin Elagabalus, did alright for quite a while (13 year reign!), but ultimately pissed off his military by trying to not fight the Germans, and was assassinated by his own generals, along with his mother Maximinus -- made emperor by the Praetorian Guard, which caused the Senate to revolt; marched on Rome to put down the revolt, and was opposed by a series of emperors (numbered below) nominated by the Senate; ultimately murdered by his own military after failing to easily take Rome (1/2) Gordian I/Gordian II -- father and son, rose to power while in Africa at the behest of the Senate; Gordian II was quickly defeated in battle by a supporter of Maximinus, after which Gordian I killed himself (reigned 21 days) (3/4) Pupienus/Balbinus -- co-emperors after the death of the Gordians. Pupienus went out to fight Maximinus on the field, and returned to Rome successful. Balbinus stayed in Rome and fucked everything up. The two did not get along or trust each other, and ultimately both were murdered by the Praetorian Guard (reigned 3 months) (5) Gordian III - Made Emperor at the age of 13 and sorta held it together for a remarkably long time, but ultimately died in Mesopotamia either at the hands of military enemies or his own army (aged 19) I'm only stopping because I need to get back to work. |