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by jrkatz
2852 days ago
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I have periodic trouble with panic attacks at night, when I'm trying to sleep, usually linked to times of external stress. I thought it was insomnia. In the moment, they're miserable - rapid pulse, cold sweat, numb hands, impending doom, the whole shebang. The next day, after just a few hours of sleep, there's hell to pay. The next night, I lay in bed afraid it's going to happen again and that I'll get no sleep again - so of course it happens again. Finally, after a few days I'm so tired I fall asleep the moment I hit the bed, with no time to fret about anything, and the cycle ends. I was trying to write about it as insomnia one day , looking over my list of symptoms, when it clicked that it didn't sound like other descriptions of insomnia. Once I figured out they were panic attacks I was able to take a step back and look at the cycle, so I don't have week-long waves of this anymore. The next night I decide I don't want to sleep - maybe I want to do an extra load of laundry, inexplicably at midnight when I've hardly slept, absurd as it is. It works, at least. My cat loves the panic attacks though. I stay up later, and I'm petting her the whole time trying to calm down. Great for her. |
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When I'm away from home I can reduce an anxious feeling by imaging I'm petting one of the cats and feeling its rumbling purr.