When I found out my girlfriend was pregnant, I had just lost my shirt on a startup. I couldn't find a job and often had to resort to the absolute cesspool of the consulting world, just to keep a roof over my head.
I likely understand exactly how you feel. If it's anything like how I felt, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I'm really sorry. Just putting myself in your shoes gave me a pit in my stomach - the same pit I walked around with for months. My email is in my profile. Feel free to reach out...
I wish I had something amazing to say that would just turn things around. The best pragmatic advice I have is that newborns are really cheap, and you're pretty lucky to have the opportunity to be with your wife throughout the pregnancy.
And finally, for the love of all that is holy, enjoy sleep while you can get it. Having a baby is kind of like being hungover for a whole year...
Be safe, best of luck and seriously bud, Happy Father's Day!!
If money is way too tight, reach out. I'd kiss you on the lips if you'd take all my baby stuff. :)
Showing up and being present is about 80% of the battle of being a great dad. You can hack the other 30%. At least that was my experience. Smell that baby’s hair when (s)he is new. The pheromones will bond you and engage you in being an awesome dad. You might also want to come up with a womb song and sing it regularly. I chose “You are my sunshine”. It still calms my DD at 9 years old.
It's worth listening to this advice. Having kids is really hard. And rewarding. And leads to hard changes in your life that you might not have taken on otherwise but in the end are often good changes. Forgive yourself and your fears as often as you can.
I also closed my startup and was super depressed while my wife was pregnant and for about 6 months after.
The baby actually helped, because I was so tired from getting up in the night, my brain didn't have as much energy to be depressed or worry about my problems.
I just kept chugging along sending out applications, and it took way longer than I expected but a good job came through.
I likely understand exactly how you feel. If it's anything like how I felt, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I'm really sorry. Just putting myself in your shoes gave me a pit in my stomach - the same pit I walked around with for months. My email is in my profile. Feel free to reach out...
I wish I had something amazing to say that would just turn things around. The best pragmatic advice I have is that newborns are really cheap, and you're pretty lucky to have the opportunity to be with your wife throughout the pregnancy.
And finally, for the love of all that is holy, enjoy sleep while you can get it. Having a baby is kind of like being hungover for a whole year...
Be safe, best of luck and seriously bud, Happy Father's Day!!
If money is way too tight, reach out. I'd kiss you on the lips if you'd take all my baby stuff. :)